I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
No subtext here. People are naked.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize