Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
