is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
