Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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