barbara walters just said penis...
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
He had one of those small greek statue penises
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Randomize
