i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
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