I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
