you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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