Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
