Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
