I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
please come you make the beer taste better
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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