Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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