what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Randomize
