You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
