TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
