just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Congratulations! We have a period
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize