can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Randomize
