giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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