They should really pass out barf bags in church
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
