So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
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