office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
