I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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