Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
