Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
