too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
