I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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