No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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