My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
