Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
