There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Randomize
