well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
