Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
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