Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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