____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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