your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
