The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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