This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
