I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
two words: eviction party
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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