Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Randomize
