Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
