dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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