Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Holy sore nipples Batman
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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