Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
