How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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