is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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