get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize