You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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