How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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