i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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