So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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