You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
