can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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