i don't like sucking hair
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
