I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
