I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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