So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
You ruined the universe
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
