Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
