sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
She announced her abortion via fbk
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Congratulations! We have a period
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