roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
