he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
